somehow instead of saying “as a treat”, I’ve started using the phrase “for morale”, as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I’m not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.
Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.
Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn’t read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There’s been multiple “I’m DB Cooper” death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today’s money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons
Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons
you know what gets me? is that, in job descriptions, you go through the list of required skills and actually go, “Oh yeah, y'know I could do all of this!” only for them to cap the list with “at least five years of professional experience.”
like, do they realize I’m looking for entry level positions?? do those just not exist???
Ok, Public Service Announcement: Ignore the Year Requirements!!!
I was in college and I was attending a job-hunting seminar with a recruiter from a biotech company, and he told us all that job descriptions are intentionally written with more requirements than they actually want. I forget the exact number, but he said that if you can fulfill either 1/3 or 2/3 of a job description (so let’s average them and say ½), you are probably qualified. This especially includes the “3-5 years of job experience” required, especially for entry-level positions.
The reason for making job descriptions so intimidating to the point of being laughable (3-5 years of experience in the field for an entry-level position???) is basically for CYA (“Cover Your @$%”). Let’s say, hypothetically, that the company interviews a guy and he turns out to be this insufferable, entitled jerk in the interview. Obviously not the kind of toxic individual you want on your team. Naturally, they reject his application. Apparently, being an insufferable jerk, it is a very common scenario that this guy will sue the company for discriminating against him in the hiring process. The company now has an out: “Well, sir, you didn’t get the job because, while your resume is impressive, you did not have the requisite experience that we clearly listed in the very official, publicly available job requirements. It’s nothing personal—it’s just business.”
Now, companies all over the US are facing staffing shortages, and there are a lot of things companies do that make the job-hunting process one of the more arduous circles of Purgatory for hardworking young people. I think that the staffing shortage is more due to these counterproductive business practices than many older adults think, because those practices weren’t around when the Boomers and GenXer’s were young adults. But that is another rant. The real moral of the story is that even if you don’t fulfill every single requirement, if you know you can do the job, you can do the job. Go ahead and apply, show them that you’re excited to work for them, that you’re a good person to work with, and that you can do the job.
(Another pro tip: lots of companies have a phobia about people signing on for a little while and then just dipping out after a few months. By hiring that person who dipped, it means they missed out on somebody who was willing to stick around, and now they’re back to square 1. What many companies want is someone who is willing to stick around long enough to learn how things are done and get really good at the job so that they can operate smoothly, efficiently, and reduce the stress for everyone already there. If you are interested in sticking around for any longer than a year, you are worth your weight in gold. Just don’t expect to be paid that way in this economy :) )
you know what gets me? is that, in job descriptions, you go through the list of required skills and actually go, "Oh yeah, y'know I could do all of this!" only for them to cap the list with "at least five years of professional experience."
like, do they realize I'm looking for entry level positions?? do those just not exist???
Ok, Public Service Announcement: Ignore the Year Requirements!!!
I was in college and I was attending a job-hunting seminar with a recruiter from a biotech company, and he told us all that job descriptions are intentionally written with more requirements than they actually want. I forget the exact number, but he said that if you can fulfill either 1/3 or 2/3 of a job description (so let’s average them and say 1/2), you are probably qualified. This especially includes the “3-5 years of job experience” required, especially for entry-level positions.
The reason for making job descriptions so intimidating to the point of being laughable (3-5 years of experience in the field for an entry-level position???) is basically for CYA (“Cover Your @$%”). Let’s say, hypothetically, that the company interviews a guy and he turns out to be this insufferable, entitled jerk in the interview. Obviously not the kind of toxic individual you want on your team. Naturally, they reject his application. Apparently, being an insufferable jerk, it is a very common scenario that this guy will sue the company for discriminating against him in the hiring process. The company now has an out: “Well, sir, you didn’t get the job because, while your resume is impressive, you did not have the requisite experience that we clearly listed in the very official, publicly available job requirements. It’s nothing personal—it’s just business.”
Now, companies all over the US are facing staffing shortages, and there are a lot of things companies do that make the job-hunting process one of the more arduous circles of Purgatory for hardworking young people. I think that the staffing shortage is more due to these counterproductive business practices than many older adults think, because those practices weren’t around when the Boomers and GenXer’s were young adults. But that is another rant. The real moral of the story is that even if you don’t fulfill every single requirement, if you know you can do the job, you can do the job. Go ahead and apply, show them that you’re excited to work for them, that you’re a good person to work with, and that you can do the job.
(Another pro tip: lots of companies have a phobia about people signing on for a little while and then just dipping out after a few months. By hiring that person who dipped, it means they missed out on somebody who was willing to stick around, and now they’re back to square 1. What many companies want is someone who is willing to stick around long enough to learn how things are done and get really good at the job so that they can operate smoothly, efficiently, and reduce the stress for everyone already there. If you are interested in sticking around for any longer than a year, you are worth your weight in gold. Just don’t expect to be paid that way in this economy :) )
